So Now I'm Back
oh my such a long time now im back at blogging. what did i miss? well let me see...been more than a year since my last article here and feels like it's been like thousand days and my life has gone through a lot! what i meant by that is that too many has happend and can't find the words to write here. everyday i meditate how i lived my life. was it good?have i hurt anybody?was i happy?or sad?or delirious? and every single day i thought i was just doing ok.when i left home and decided to work abroad i'm pretty confident i'm just gonna do fine.i can do it.i'm always ready to take risks.i have believed in the goodness inside me that i can live a good life abroad.even if i'm away from my family(take note i'm never been far from my folks for more than a week!).but believe me it was never easy.at first i was kind of excited.everything was "firsts" for me.first time to be on an airplane.first time to live alone(no mom to take good care of me,no annoying brother,no niece to play with),first time to really practice my profession,first time to have roommates and a whole lot more.first weeks were ok.it's still fun.but few months later it starts to get a little boring.6 months after i feel like i'm so fed up and so ready to go back home.but i never wanted to quit.not this time.so a little patience.then few more months it feels more like a candle very near to it's end.so what's really wrong?is a high saalry not enough to make me happy and stay here until the project's over?well i guess it's so right that's "not everything Money can buy".i have seen many 'not so righteous' decision people have chosen their lives to be here.many have chosen things i believe was not right.but hey i'm not here to judge or be righteous myself.but these are not the normal environment i have back home.so it was kind of hard seeing them like that.i think about their families wishing their loved one will be back home soon.(to think that most of us here are first-timers in abroad).but what will happen if their loved one also found other love here?so what happens now?how important is fidelity when you're alone and need to cope up from the fact that you're away from the people you love?it's hard i know.and maybe not all people can keep that fidelity.we're just humans.can make mistakes.the point is,we're just justifying that fact to correct the mistakes we're doing now.or maybe we have accepted so much that fact that it becomes so normal now.that is the sad part.but the harder and sadder part is when someone really close to you is the one making that kind of life too.and you can't do anything other than to understand.coz it's not your life their living.it's theirs.and you don't mind other's business.now i'm so ready to go back home.to the normal home.to be happy again.free from stress.and i just can't wait...
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